Last night I had to return some shoes to Nordstrom. The Nordstrom shoe department makes me very happy but very nervous. This is because all the salesmen are black and I have white guilt about being served by a black man. Is that terrible to say? Is my fledging blog going to get hate mail from its vast readership of one? Liz, are you mad?
Okay, there are two white salesmen, but you can tell they suck. One I always hear playing this aw shucks country mouse / backpacking adventurer Lonely Planet guy. You know he watches Planet Earth, probably just because he thinks Planet is a brand name and he likes their books, afterall. The other is just sad sad sad. He's like short middle-aged player guy who goes for all the 6ft Amazon women with patterned leggings. I bet he was a top seller at the Foot Locker when he decided to go for the gold and leave that sneaker security for the higher eschelon salon shoe.
Actually, Nordstrom has a separate "salon shoe" department. I don't go there. It is not for me. I don't even know what a salon shoe is. I have an image of shoes without soles that one wears daintily on the carpet of a salon. Honestly, I don't even know what a salon is. I've gleaned from the existence of salon.com that you go there and talk. Possibly in dainty soleless shoes?
Anyway, my salesman is DeWitt. He sold me the shoes I returned, so I really wanted to buy a new pair through him so he'd still get the commission. Also he doesn't suck in any immediately perceptible way, which is probably why he was super busy. So I did what any guilty white girl would do: I go buy a headband while I wait.
I've been DYING for a headband. They cost like a million dollars though, and I'm not yet grown up enough to willingly spend money on accessories. I like to let them come into my life accidentally. But I really need a haircut, and Rudy's is suddenly too cool to even answer their phone lately, so I need some sort of hair controlling device STAT. I also have anxiety about acquiring any trend item. I have to buy things before they're annoyingly omnipresent, but well into mid-craze. I am clearly not cool enough to pull off anything pre-craze. Mental Headband Hurdle #3: those stores. The stores that sell the headbands scare the shit out of me. Claire's? ICING? Yikes. Any mall store that can perform a medical procedure on you is unnatural. So I went up to Nordstrom's "Brass Plum" section (Genius title. Again, I have no idea what it means, but it suggests affluence and a pull-a-plum-out-of-a-pie-with-your-thumb kind of irreverence to me). Voila, headband acquisition.
Today I have the distinct feeling that said headband is crushing vital lobes of my brain, even after I cleverly put it around my bathroom wastebasket all night to stretch it out. It was all worth it though when my officemate and until now sole wielder of the headband, Melissa, saw my new "icing." The look of cunning malevolence on her face said, "Soooo, there's a new headband in town." And the look of pained excitement on mine said, "Owwww," and, "Thanks for making these cookies!"
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HeadBand is an all male a cappella group based from Willamette University in Salem, OR. The group is made up of 8 - 12 members and is independent of the school. HeadBand performs a variety of songs from pop to folk. The group was founded in 2004 and released its first CD, Random Act of Fashion in 2005. Their new CD, For Your Ears is set to be released in May. HeadBand is preparing to put on a spring concert with Vamp, Willamette women's a cappella group, and Divisi, University of Oregon's award winning women's a cappella group.
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