Is Bones My Mom?

Please take a moment to picture La Stossel contemplating the title of this post. Ahhhhh. I know all 3 of you have heard me make this comparison already, but I've thought for about 30 seconds more about it, and I think that time has increased its efficacy tenfold. Those of you playing along at home can now calculate the velocity of the Bones-Mom Comparison's efficacy with your Picture Pages pen. (Upon further research I've learned this pen was called "Mortimer Ichabod." I hearted the shit out of that pen.)
1. The formal name/ absurdly plebian nickname irony. Bones' actual name is Temperance. Yowsers, can you get a grimmer, more dour name? Why not just go all Bleak House and name her Honoria Dedlock. Or Eeyore. But before you change the channel folks, she's got a pleasing coloquial nickname! Bones! Oh, Bones, now we understand you. You're COMICALLY erudite. Good one.
My mom's name is Carol. Also mildly Dickensian, but fun Dickens not bleak Dickens. And her middle name is Cherry. Wildly inappropriate. It is basically what that jerk David Boreanaz would've dubbed my mother if they had 5th grade science class together.
2. Cold scientific assessment of surroundings. Bones is a scientist and can only approach things using logic. It makes her so mad when Booth tries to use his intuition to solve cases! Cherry has a masters degree in chemistry. She likes to say "bacchanalian revelry" instead of "drinking." Dad likes to make up theories (lies) and try to pass them off as actual knowledge. Boy, does that make mom mad! Bones works at the "Jeffersonian," a greeking of the Smithsonian. Cherry got her masters from the University of Virginia, Richmond. Also known as... Mr. Jefferson's University! Eerie.
3. Clunky thematic and somewhat morbid jewelry. The geniuses at Bones like to convey Bones' eccentricity by constantly loading her up with consistently hideous large jewelry. We are left to imagine she dug these pieces up herself, one of the lesser known perks of being an anthropologist (sign up today, ladies!) or acquired them on some exotic grave dig trip to Swaziland or some shit. Bones also likes to wear jewelry that reminds her of her long murdered, thieving but just kinda misunderstood mother. Her mother looooved dolphins. Seriously, dolphins. Have writers learned nothing more about women since Will Smith gave his stripper fiancee a dolphin engagement ring against Harry Connick's advice in Independence Day?! Come on guys. OWLS are the fad animal of today! Bones was able to recover a dolphin BELT BUCKLE from her mother's body, which she cherishes. I have a theory that Larry McMurtry has dumped that baggage Diana Ossana and has secretly teamed with Donna Marie (dresses like a mermaid who shops at Forever 21) to write Bones. Think about it.
Cherry likes to wear sea-themed jewelry as well. I get it, she's from North Carolina, but she hits the Of The Sea theme a little hard. Some crafty seaman fell on hard times and went to work for the Chico's jewelry design department, and he's been feeding my mom's insatiable appetite for abalone and gold-tipped seashell necklaces for years. No dolphins, thank the lord. Her other jewelry mainstay is a quaint heartshaped pendant. Inside... human remains!! That's right, in an oddly Billy Boblike character twist, my mother likes to keep her sister's ashes inches away from her face at all times.
4. Inability to understand people except on anthropological grounds. Both Cherry and Bones have managed to make it to (or well into) their adult lives without interacting with people on any kind of functioning level. Cherry likes to say she taught herself how to perform small talk, and still clings to the one pop culture catchphrase she gleaned from her children, "duh." Bones says "I don't know what that means" in response to cultural references FOUR times in the pilot. Bones has to ID victims using ethnic stereotypes, while Cherry does it just for fun. She is always ready to point out that Italians are very emotional and African Americans weren't raised to value grammar, that Indians are always late and men love lesbians. Sigh. Oh, Bones.
5. Squinting. Booth calls Bones a "squint" because she looks closely at things all scientist-like. Cherry squints too! She can't see at all. She reads everything lying on her stomach so she can get her face as close as possible to the print. The remote control has a yellow fluff of yarn taped to it so she can see it.
6. Cherry watches Bones! She bought season one on DVD despite the fact that she's never owned a TV show on DVD and can't work the DVD player! She's suspicious that the episodes might be out of order, and can't adjust to the lack of commercials for retrieving Diet Cokes, but so far it's worth it! I may have to get her a new yarn fluff for the DVD remote.
I think the Bones-Mom evidence is irrefutable, but Stossel says you be the judge. Is fact, indeed, exactly as strange as fiction?